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We've been talking ALL night...

Around 23:30 she said something in cyber about meeting me, without planning or committing or even thinking of something specific like those things I run in my head - come to see me she said. That simple.

I'm going to meet her. It's around midnight. Her dog is barking at me right by the door.

I enter a big apartment. Lots of paintings on the walls and big colorful pillows on the floor. I lay my ass on one spreading my legs (I had to, due to the low sitting condition). Her dog placed himself between my legs, exposing his unfriendly teeth and for the first time in my life I was afraid for my 'best friend'. I wasn't sure where to place my hands. If I protect 'him' will I look afraid? if I let go and pretend myself calm will it expose my fear? And what if I simply stop being a smartass?

I decided to behave as if I were fearless. I even stretch my hand to caress him (the dog, the dog...what were you thinking). He gave me a small bite in return.

'Very strange the way he responds to you' she said, 'are you having a sexual energy now?'

Honestly, I don't remember when I DIDN'T have that energy' I answered looking at him, still standing there between my legs.

'But it is not about him, the energy' I continued, staring at him.

'When shall we kiss?' I asked quietly.

She smiled and he moved to sit in her lap. Such a relief. Then we started talking, and talking, all night long, mainly about my favorite subject - me. I know, some people are paid to deal with cases like me.

'When shall we kiss?' I asked again.

Our conversation flows. Time is passing and I feel like getting closer, to her. I get up and come by her pillow only HE is stacked between us...I found myself talking to her and caressing her dog and he liked it soooooo much. Time passed quickly. Around 2 AM, we are talking about theater and other cultural stuff and I wanted to talk some dirty stuff. We're talking, talking, talking and my mind is wondering about F****ing. Every words leads to another, 50 more words and I feel like I'm losing it. So I dared to asked:

'Are you going to kiss me or what?'

She said she wasn't feeling any passion tonight, blah blah, that she just broke up with her man, blah blah, that she had a great time with me and it's, blah blah, time to go to sleep, morning already, blah blah..


So I hugged her gently by the door, then left her house to sidle into the darkness of my un-sexy life.

This may sound funny but I felt down. I felt she cheated on me. I regret that visit, the stupid theory I had in my mind about her. She was so different in cyber. There was a lot of lust between us. I touched her there and I thought she was feeling the same about me. But I was just a silly man who could not say no to his urge and desires.



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