Personal Sex Advice by Deni | Edited by Samarel
Dear Deni,
My boyfriend and i have been together for almost a year, and until he met me, he was a virgin ... when it came to EVERYTHING. Now it's like he's a nympho, lol. And i love it but it takes him so0o0o long to cum. And when he does come, it's like i can never tell, he just gets up walks away and says "I’m done...."I can’t tell when he's about to have an orgasm because there aren’t any signs. His breathing doesn’t change, his movements don’t change, and he won't say "I’m cumming....".
He just DOES IT. And that’s it. What can i do to change that? He says that it feels so good when he's inside me, and that he wants 2 explode, but he shows no signs of an orgasm. Why doesn’t he show that? Am i doing something wrong??
Dear Trey,
People, men AND women, often first learn of their own sexuality when they are with other people who do not share their erotic fantasies and activities. Examples are people sleeping in the same room with brothers, or sisters, or cousins, going to a Catholic school where they are taught sex is a sin, or in a dorm where their house mates can hear them, or in the armed forces where twenty men are in the same sleeping space.
have a masturbatory sex life
Being in these situations as they learn to masturbate often make people stifle any obvious noise or motion. It is a self-protection mechanism so that they are not embarrassed (or worse) by friends or relatives or even strangers when they somehow slip and make a noise or an obviously sexy movement as they secretively stimulate themselves.
They quickly convince themselves that they cannot have a masturbatory sex life in this situation unless they are absolutely secretive. They learn to cum without giving themselves away. They teach themselves to masturbate and orgasm totally silently.
Then when they can be more open about it, such as with their husband or wife, they often have trouble overcoming their ingrained need for secrecy as they seek and find release.
Yet they, like everyone, NEED a fulfilling guilt free sex life!
While men are the ones that are usually thought of as those who masturbate, many, many women also masturbate. Think about it, God made us with our arms just the right length and our hands in just the right place, to self-pleasure. Believe me, the design of our body was a deliberate decision by our Creator.
People who masturbate frequently are mentally healthier, live longer, and have fewer anger problems. Masturbation often gets people through a bad marriage. Masturbation allows couples, who chose to be true to their spouse while the spouse is away, to stave off the need to find an illicit sex partner outside their relationship.
Ask HIM to masturbate as he watches YOU masturbate
Clearly your friend is very self-conscious about his sexuality. It may take him awhile to learn to be more open about it with you. Be patient with him. I would try a few things to help him open up to you.
Ask HIM to masturbate as he watches YOU masturbate. Sit a few feet apart, and talk openly and sexily about how you are feeling as you deliberately touch yourself. Let him watch you rise as you pleasure your own body. This will double as a teaching aid to show him how you like to be touched as well.
Tell or read him a fantasy, erotic story, or tell him about how you are feeling, how you want his cock to shoot its semen all over your breasts, how you adore his cock and how much it turns you on to see his hand on himself. Encourage, encourage, encourage him until he learns that your sex life is a healthy and God-given act of love.
Watch sex videos together
Or, download video clips of women and men masturbating. Watch the sex videos with him as you openly stroke his cock and suckle on his penis. Touch yourself as you watch them too. Have HIM touch you as you are watching.
There are many, many more ways to help him loose his shyness and self-consciousness. Be creative, and be gentle and supportive. Let him take his time in opening up to you. Praise him each time he makes a baby step toward being more open about sex.
I envy you watching his self-discovery process as he opens up and learns how a horny little devil can have open and sexy fun!
Deni
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Disclaimer: The information contained herein is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis or treatment of any health problem, whether it be physical or psychological. Consult your physician or a licensed medical professional for a detailed diagnosis of your particular medical problem. PSA guide assumes no responsibility for how this material is used.