Personal Sex Advice by Deni | Edited by Samarel
Dear Deni
There is a guy who I think is interested in me - but he's married. I'm interested in him too. How do I let him know I want to go further and make love to him?
Christina Crawford
Dear Christina,
Flirting. Flirting, and learning to set realistic, healthy boundaries in a relationship. Those two necessary, even CRITICAL skills can make or break a person in the adult lifestyle.
So here is my own list of rules when I date a married man:
I NEVER expect a married man to leave his wife for me
If a man leaves his wife, he must do it because his marriage is not working. If I take him as a lover, then I must be supportive of his marriage, not try to sabotage it. So many wives use sex as a means to control their husband. All I do, as his lover, is to relieve his biological itch, so he can focus on the underlying issues in his marriage that need resolution. It is nearly impossible for man to think clearly and logically when he is horny. Sex with me allows him to not have that handicap when dealing with a woman that is an ass.
NEVER call a married man at home, or at his office
The worst thing you can do to a married man is allow his wife to discover that he is fucking around. Unless he has a pager, NEVER call him. Not even on his cell phone. Wait for HIM to call YOU. You can email him, but make certain he has an account that does NOT save to his computer.
Flirting with married man - Set rules
For instance, I never "allow" my men to talk about their wives. I don’t want to know about all the shit they have between them in their marriage. If they do start to talk about their marriage, I flood their mouth with kisses or my nipple and shut them up with other more interesting and rewarding activities (grin). By the time we are done, they have forgotten their hurts and pains from their wife.
NEVER have sex unprotected with a man that is married
I am not necessarily saying use a condom. But you should make absolutely certain that you cannot conceive by him. There is nothing more destructive to an unmarried woman than an unwanted pregnancy. And the consequences last for the rest of your life honey. Abortion is not an end to the consequence, and should not be even considered unless there are clear medical implications.
NEVER EVER forget the man is married
He is not YOURS. He is not ever going to be the right man for you, unless for reasons totally unrelated to you, he divorces or his wife dies. Do NOT encourage either of these. Be with him just for the sex. As the Bible sort of says, "Do not covet your neighbor’s husband."
Do not expect romance from a married man
His wife will get that, not you. Maybe she doesn't but that's not an advantage for you.
You will notice that my rules do not say "Don’t date a married man." I do date married men. My current lover is married. But he is certain, because I have let him clearly know, that I do NOT want him to get a divorce. I just like to fuck him. Over and over and over!
Now let’s talk about flirting
Flirting is the process of conveying sexual interest in another person.
Flirting is, these days, unfortunately, a lost art in our society. The science of flirting is something that could fill a few volumes of data. Here are the "never fail" rudiments:
• Use your eyes to get his attention. Let him catch you looking. Then let him catch you looking again. And yet again.
• When he returns your gaze, smile at him.
• When he blushes or smiles back, look at his crotch and lick your lips seductively, then look back up at his eyes and smile again.
• If he starts walking toward you, hold his gaze until he stops in front of you.
• Look at his crotch again and smile again. Crooking an eyebrow as you look back up at him allows him to know that you are interested in talking about his crotch and all it contains.
• When he makes some crude remark, or stupid remark (remember, he is flustered, no one has ever approached him like this before) giggle and smile again.
• When he asks if you want to go for a walk, say yes.
• When he asks if you want to fuck, say yes (he will probably use that exact word, too).
And you know what? If he wants to have sex with you, he will
So that is the most direct foolproof way to flirt.
NOW! You said that you wanted to "Make Love" to him. Let’s talk about that.
Making love is not the same as fucking
Making love is not something that you should be focusing on. Sex can be, and often is, one of the ways of "falling in love." Honey, DO NOT fall in love with a married man. Not unless you are willing to live without him. Because as soon as you fall in love, you will want more and more and more of him.
And THAT is what will drive him away.
Keep it "just sex"
No, honey, sex with a married man is a treacherous path to follow. So keep it light. Keep it "just sex". Keep it safe. And keep it clear in your head that "This man is married to a woman that does not want to lose him." So all you can do is fuck him, unless you want to make both him and you miserable.
Deni
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