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Does penis size really matter to women?

Personal Sex Advice by Deni | Edited by Samarel

Dear Deni,

My wife tells me I am simply awful in the bedchamber. She is threatening to take a lover! should I prove incapable of learning how to pleasure her properly. My penis is, according to a chart I consulted, larger than normal. The chart compares length and thickness. According to the chart, I am in the 85th percentile for penis size. I measure 6.75 inches in length when erect, and slightly less than three inches in girth.

Surely this is enough for most women’s satisfaction. I am asking if it is me, or my wife that is in error regarding this subject.

Please elucidate.

Fondly yours,


Dear Chaucer,

You have been candid with me, so I will be direct with you. The size of your penis has nothing to do with sexually pleasing your wife.

In fact, most men would be better lovers if they had no penis. I am not sure how it happened, but the male perception that the length of a man’s penis is important has most men all confused about how to make love to a woman. The length of a man’s penis has NOTHING to do with how well he can make love. We see millions of ads about how the advertiser can make your penis longer. A longer penis will not help you with your wife.


Length rarely brings pleasure to most women; in fact, the longer your member is, the more likely it is that you will cause her pain, not pleasure. In fact, Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs) are the most common malady of women when having sex with a man with a longer than average penis.

However, thickness (within reason) is good. The vagina is made to stretch in girth, but cannot stretch in length. A woman’s bladder and other sensitive organs lie just beyond the end of her vagina. A penis that is longer than her vagina easily damages these fragile organs. This damage is what causes a painful UTI.

Besides . . . a man’s best sex organ is his mouth and tongue. His second-best sex organ is his fingers, used properly of course.

If you truly want to learn how to please your wife in bed, stop using your penis until she has had at least three orgasms... per love making session. EVERY time you make love to her . . . do not insert your penis into her until she is satiated.

If you truly cannot understand how to make love to your wife, consider bringing in an experienced lover (that your wife finds attractive) to show you how to make love to her. Use her (or him) as a tutor to teach you how to truly make love to your woman. And, frankly, a woman lover will be able to teach you more than 99 percent of men can.

So here are your lessons:

  • Learn how to bring her to orgasm with your mouth licking and gently suckling her labia and most importantly her clitoris while you caress and touch her gently.

  • Then learn how to stimulate her G-spot to bring her to orgasm. Her G-spot lies directly below her clitoris. There are plenty of on-line resources that discuss how to accomplish this.

  • Then combine your mouth and fingers to bring her to thrashing, wailing, soul-satisfying orgasms.

  • Using both mouth and fingers, bring her to orgasm after orgasm until she begs you to stop.

  • Then, and only then, put your penis inside her and allow yourself to cum.

And put your penis away until it deserves to be pleasured. Set a goal of bringing your wife to orgasm few times for each time you allow yourself to cum. She deserves it.


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Disclaimer: The information contained herein is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis or treatment of any health problem, whether it be physical or psychological. Consult your physician or a licensed medical professional for a detailed diagnosis of your particular medical problem. PSA guide assumes no responsibility for how this material is used.

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