Personal Sex Advice by Deni | Edited by Samarel
Dear Deni,
As you know, I am a widow. But I still have desires. I want to start dating again, or at least having sex. And, yes, I miss my husband, but I still need sex. More explicitly, I need sex with men, having penetration, and touching and smelling their manly scents.
Please tell me what you think about a new widow restarting her life. I know that you had to go through this too. Please teach me what you learned when your husband passed.
Linda
Dear Linda
The passing of a loved one is hard, but the passing of a spouse is particularly difficult.
But you are right, at some point you have to get on with your life. That point occurs sooner for some people than for others. For me it was about two months before I felt like becoming social again. I still am not ready to select a new husband.
So, in retrospect, I think I would advise you as follows:
Sexual relationship
Decide if you want to establish a "casual" sexual relationship with someone. If so, you can set the ground rules before agreeing to establish the relationship. For instance, you may tell a good male friend that you get along with well, that you would like them to become a "Friend with Privileges." Those privileges could be sexual. But be specific about what the boundaries are BEFORE you suggest the relationship.
Anonymous sex
You may decide that you wish to have some anonymous sex. Ask a good and trusted friend to find you a date that does not know you, take them to a motel, and enjoy them in a robust sex capade, then dress and leave when you’re satisfied. Extract a promise from your friend that they will NEVER divulge your identity without your EXPLICIT permission.
3.Buy sex from a gigolo.
Sharing a husband
Ask a good friend if you can talk to them about something extremely personal. Obviously, this will entail privacy during the discussion. Explain to them that you want to have penetrative sex with a male, but do not want to have a relationship result from it. Ask them to help you through your ordeal by allowing you to have anonymous sex with their husband next time they are menstruating. With some perseverance, you can find several women that will share with you when they are miserable, and make it better for their husbands during that period (Sorry, bad pun!). So you, them, and their husbands benefit. Obviously, this will be something you discuss with only those female friends that you know well enough to know they are secure enough in their husband’s love to share him with you.
Using sex toy
Purchase a very realistic dildo and use it for penetration.
Explain that you are sexually in need
Or, if you meet a man that is level headed, you could simply explain that you are sexually in need, and ask for their assistance. Believe me, most men will be glad to help you out. Again, assure your anonymity during this time. You could even make it a game by checking out his equipment and taking advantage of only that man, or men, that are the size and shape you like best.
But Linda, protect yourself emotionally during this time of stress. Remember that very few rebound romances ever turn into a long-term healthy relationship. Be realistic and pragmatic about that. Keep your logical, NOT your emotional, brain in control when making these decisions.
Be totally honest with any man that you decide to go to bed with, by laying out the ground rules before and after the sex., and enjoy him till you are satisfied.
So, I would advise you to seek short term, lust driven liaisons until you suddenly wake up some morning and realize that you are ready to move on emotionally. And believe me honey, that day WILL come for you. Just don’t try to hurry it. Grieving is a process, and if you try to skip a step or two, it will come back to haunt you.
Separate sex and love
Separate sex and love in your mind and heart, then have sex with carefully pre-selected males, and be honest with them. Make sure they understand they are just a pretty cock you want to fuck, nothing more, nothing less.
Until you have finished your grieving process, find a safe, sane and consensual method of scratching that insistent itch.
Deni
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