Stories of My Life
Funny Stories and Life Lessons
Stories of My Life is a collection of funny, thought-provoking stories that prove laughter can be the best way to face life's challenges.
From imaginary conversations with cheeky everyday objects to hilarious true-life experiences, each story blends humor, wit, and a meaningful life lesson.
Enjoy a selection of stories on this page, then discover the complete collection on Amazon Kindle.
Selected stories
What should you do with your eyes inside an elevator
My kind of dilemma
Every day or two, I find myself going up or down, also in an elevator, and having the same dilemma: “What should I do with my eyes”.
We all have this dilemma.
Men and women who aren’t playing with their eyes (and not only in the elevator). I know there are much harder dilemmas in life, but this one really pisses me off.
When a person is surrounded by people in such a tiny place, it’s not so simple to look at something without feeling guilty about it. We tacitly agree to keep our hands to ourselves. Do not touch, do not reach out for anything soft, hold yourself aloof. But the eyes—what should we do with them? What?
After giving up the idea of taking the stairs (which is very healthy, say those who use the elevator) and entering the elevator, you are in a new zone, disconnected from the outer world, alone in a small cell with some people who might be feeling the same but have never had the urge to write about it as you have, all their wish is to end this short trip and arrive safely at their destiny.
So now that you’re in, a few options stand before you:
If you’re a man and you don’t need to prove it to anyone, but you enter the elevator with another man, you guys can simply ignore each other and no one will be offended. Most likely, he will get busy with his smart phone, so your eyes will never meet his hands. You can place them wherever you want, he will not notice.
However…
If you enter that elevator with a woman, regardless of how big they are — you cannot place your eyes anywhere safe without being guilty of a charge. If you know this woman, however, there should be no problem. Your eyes will follow your hands.
But if she’s a stranger, you’re in trouble.
Because ….
If you look her in the eyes, she’ll think you are hitting on her.
If you look at her boobs, she’ll think you’re lusting for them, and what about me. or my personality? She will silently complain.
If you stare at the ceiling, she’ll think SHE is not attractive enough. Now you’ve messed up her self esteem for life.
If you look down at the floor, she’ll think you’ve hidden a camera on your shoe and you are peeking up under her skirt, and what if today of all days she has forgotten her panties back home. Shame on you!
Whatever you do, you are already guilty of something.
So what CAN you do?
So hard to be a man. So hard…
Hydrant's desire
Full interview
Me: So what’s up dude, you look lonely
Hydrant: Why you saying that?
Me: Because I see you every day, and you look turned of.
Hydrant: You mean off.
Me: Are you correcting me?
Hydrant: Who me? YOU are putting words in MY mouth. I’m only standing here.
Me: Standing? You look like you’re almost bowing to me.
Hydrant: What do you want, Did you come here to laugh at me, you jerk?
Me: Hey, behave yourself.
Hydrant: Why? What would you do to me that you didn’t already?
Me: Listen…I didn’t come here to fight. I came to interview you, take a good photo of you, and do a nice Photoshop job on you. I mean, you won’t even look like yourself. You’ll look much better. So let’s relax and go on with this interview, shall we?
Hydrant: Ok, It’s your decision. I can’t even resist. So, what’s the point of this interview anyway?
Me: To write a nice post
Hydrant: That’s it?
Me: Oh well, also to show off my photoshop skills.
Hydrant: And you don’t care if anyone dislikes your post?
Me: Let them think what they want. I feel okay with all this. Have you ever seen an interview with a hydrant before?
Hydrant: Dunno, maybe in the theater. There must be someone who can find symbolism here. Btw, can you make me a little longer? or taller?
Me: Oh no, that size issue again?
Hydrant: Yeh, I have a size issue, but what do YOU care about?
Me: Ok..I see we are not going anywhere good with this interview
Hydrant: Are you giving up? A little debate, and you are running away?
Me: What are you preaching to me now?
Hydrant: Be a man. Don’t quit on me.
Me: I don’t have anything else to tell you or ask you
Hydrant: You initiated all this, make an effort!
Me: I don’t feel like it. Let’s stop here.
Hydrant: What? No make-up sex?
Me: How can you even think about makeup sex now?
Hydrant: I thought it might be good for both of us.
Me: Sometimes I really don’t understand you. Come here (hugging him). I’m sorry.
Hydrant: You are sweet… Thank you.
Me: Let’s go on with the interview, ok?
Hydrant: Ok. Ask me something, Talk to me, man.
Me: So, do you come here a lot?
Hydrant: Fuck you...