A sexy interview with a hydrant

A HYDRANT'S DESIRE
Me: So what’s up dude, you look lonely
Hydrant: Why you saying that?
Me: Because I see you every day, and you look turned of.
Hydrant: You mean off.
Me: Are you correcting me?
Hydrant: Who me? YOU are putting words in MY mouth. I’m only standing here.
Me: Standing? You look almost bowing to me.
Hydrant: What do you want, did you come here to laugh at me you jerk?
Me: Hey, behave yourself.
Hydrant: Why? What would you do to me that you didn’t already?
Me: Listen…I didn’t come here to fight. I came to interview you, take a good photo of you, do a nice photoshop job on you. I mean you won't even look like yourself. You'll look much better. So let’s relax and go on with this interview shall we?
Hydrant: Ok, your decision. I can't even resist. So, what’s the point of this interview anyway?
Me: To write a nice post for Facebook
Hydrant: That’s it?
Me: Oh well, also to show off my digital art work
Hydrant: And you don’t care if anyone dislikes your post?
Me: Let them think what they want. I feel ok with all this. Have you ever seen an interview with a hydrant before?
Hydrant: DUnno…maybe in the theatre. There must be someone who can find symbolism here. Btw, can you make me a little longer? or taller?
Me: Size issue again?
Hydrant: Yeh, I have a size issue, but what do YOU care?
Me: Ok..I see we are not going anywhere good with this interview
Hydrant: Are you giving up? A little debate and you are running away on me?
Me: What are you preaching to me now?
Hydrant: Be a man. Don’t quit on me.
Me: I don’t have anything else to tell you or ask you
Hydrant: You initiated all this, make an effort!
Me: I don’t feel like it. Let’s stop here.
Hydrant: What? No make-up sex?
Me: How can you think about make-up sex now?
Hydrant: I thought it might be good for both of us.
Me: Sometimes I really don’t understand you ...
come here (hugging him) I am sorry.
Hydrant: You are sweet…thank you.
Me: Let’s go on with the interview ok?
Hydrant: Ok..ask me something, talk to me man.
Me: So, do you come here a lot?
Hydrant: Fuck you….8^5*(&&###****